Merry Christmas. Somehow, another year has already slipped by.
Around this time last year, I had only just started studying seriously. After half a year of grinding, I finally managed to make up for the gaps from all three years of middle school, and I got through the high school entrance exam without too much disaster. I had planned to keep pushing once high school started, to really keep fighting and studying hard, but reality didn’t quite cooperate. I didn’t even reach the point where simply passing felt like a victory.
For most of the first half of the year, studying took up so much time that I barely played any games at all. Then the second half came, high school started, and even though I still played, it wasn’t like before. Of course, if I said I didn’t play anything, nobody would believe that. But it really does feel like I’m no longer as invested in games as I used to be. Maybe I’ve simply played enough. Maybe I’ve been through too much of it already. Sometimes I sit down and find that I can’t get into anything at all. More often than not, I’m just sitting in an internet café, staring blankly at an LCD monitor.
Warcraft is still a game, sure, but the way I play it now feels mechanical. After all, I’ve basically turned WAR3 into a profession. Since coming back after the entrance exam, I’ve been playing in a much more professional way, and I even switched races to Orc. Under normal circumstances, a match against the computer on easy takes me about 14 minutes, medium takes 16, and insane takes 20. But once I’m up against real players, I start to feel the strain. That old “demon left hand” of mine just isn’t there anymore.
The Final Judgment guild has been around for more than two years now, and it’s also been a full year since I stepped down. The new guild leader hasn’t disappointed me. In just one year, he’s grown the guild a lot. I had originally planned to go back on the 14th and take over again, but in the end I still didn’t return. There were reasons. Mostly, I was tired. Worn out. I just didn’t want to do it anymore. Still, I know I’ll have to go back eventually. I have to.
And today isn’t only Christmas. It’s my birthday too.
This year’s Christmas was the best Christmas and birthday I’ve had in a long time. At the very least, it didn’t feel like the ones before. That alone is enough to make me smile.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
This was written during my first year of high school. A note added in December 2020 mentioned that the original title was simply “Merry Christmas 08,” and that this was the earliest year-end reflection still preserved, though there had been an even earlier one back in 2005 that was no longer available.