It was 11:15 p.m., and I had assumed my five-year-old son was already asleep.
Then, out of nowhere, he asked in a trembling, tearful voice:
Dad, do people die?
I was caught completely off guard. I asked him why he suddenly wanted to know, but he did not answer. He only kept repeating the question.
I did not want to lie to him, so I finally said yes.
His crying grew louder.
Will I get old? Will I die?
I could hardly bring myself to continue answering, yet I still did not want to deceive him. In the end, I tried to soften the truth in the only way I could think of:
When people leave this world, they become something different—like a star.
Still crying, he said:
But I don't want to become a star.
I pulled him into my arms and tried to comfort him, offering the kind of well-intentioned lie that parents sometimes reach for when the truth feels too heavy for a child.
Don't worry, sweetheart. You're still so little. That won't happen to you.
I quickly changed the subject. After a while, I casually asked him what had made him think about this in the first place.
He told me that, over the weekend, his grandparents and great-aunt had been talking. Someone from our hometown had passed away, and Grandma had remarked, almost absent-mindedly, that everyone eventually dies when they grow old.
He remembered that one sentence.
For such a young child, it had landed with enormous force. A simple comment had opened the door to a fear he had never encountered before: the fear of the unknown, and of death.
I could hear that fear in every question he asked me through his sobs. In that moment, I was reminded of myself as a child, lying on a stone slab while herding cattle on a hillside, staring into the distance and trying to make sense of things I did not understand.
I know I cannot keep him away from every unpleasant fact or frightening experience. Nor do I want to raise him as a flower sheltered entirely inside a greenhouse. Sooner or later, he will have to meet the difficult parts of life.
But I am a father for the first time. When my child suddenly asks a question like that in the middle of the night, I realize I still have no perfect answer. All I could do was change the subject, hold him close, and tell a small, kind lie while trying to keep him from being overwhelmed.
I am new to this fatherhood, and I know I have a lot to learn. Please be patient with me.
ʕ ᵔᴥᵔ ʔ
